Today's Pearls Before Swine

Charlie Brown's definition of love

"I'm the Easter Rabbit... hoo-ray!"

Bugs Bunny - Easter Yeggs

Introducing my official YouTube channel

I guess I have to face the fact that Google Video isn't coming back. I've never been impressed with the video lagtime, digital delay, and related issues that go along with videos on YouTube, but they are the dominant destination for free online media, so I guess I need to get used to it. Google Video seemed more streamlined, the video seemed more crisp, and I miss the ease of it all. Oh well. Time marches on.

My YouTube channel is very bare bones at the moment. The only videos I have presently stored on my computer are my video blogs from the six months I recently spent in Central Asia. A few of the videos I'd posted on my Google Video account will need to be uploaded again onto YouTube, but that isn't a top priority. Feel free to check them out, post comments, subscribe to my channel, and just generally increase traffic to my online content. For future reference, you can review and watch videos I post on the link in the right column of my blog.

Share and enjoy.

The evolution of ideas

One of the odd things about teaching is how it does seem to place life in astounding perspective. I teach technology to college students, and -- though the class isn't centered on the history of computers -- I often take a minute or two to place things into a historical context. Inevitably, when I do so, it makes me feel my age. It also gets me to thinking about how times have changed.

When I teach about the formation of companies like Microsoft or Apple, those things occurred around the time I was born. In my lifetime, I have witnessed the death of 8-tracks, vinyl records, audio cassettes, and compact discs. I can recall dial-up connections to the internet, and I can recall when the internet was more-or-less text-only. I began a blog in my college years (and even gained some notoriety for it), but the term "blogger" hadn't even been invented yet -- I was just an online writer.

I was around when the nation still looked forward to receiving 500 channels of television, and I was around when we received them and realized there was still nothing worth watching. I graduated in 1996 with a degree in broadcast communications. I had learned how to wire and synchronize all the equipment in an analog television station; a year later, the digital revolution took place and nearly everything I learned had suddenly been rendered obsolete. Console televisions came in hefty wood (or simulated wood) cabinets and sat on the floor. Beta and VHS battled for supremacy. OnTV and SelecTV battled for supremacy. HD-DVD and Blu-Ray battled for supremacy.

In the late 1990s, I was mocked by my friends when I bought a cellphone, because none of them could fathom why I (or anyone) would need such a device. Around five years later, many of those same friends mocked me for owning such an old cellphone, because we all had to have the latest and greatest. I've seen the rise and fall of pagers and FAX machines, AOL and Netscape, PowerBooks and Newtons, digital watches and Swatch watches.

The Christmas when we received an Atari 2600 (with Pac-Man) stands out as one of my favorite childhood memories. The day I cashed out an old life insurance policy to buy a Nintendo 64 stands out as one of the most frivolous wastes of money I've ever done (fun though).

I remember the advent of MTV, as well as the almost uncelebrated moment when VH1 came into being. I also recall when MTV and VH1 dropped their respective nonstop music video formats in favor of teen oriented fare (though to this day they deny who their target audience was). The arrival of early rappers like Run DMC and The Fat Boys seemed a logical musical progression from soul/R&B, but the sudden, violent transformation of the genre seemed to come out of nowhere. I can recall when music wasn't sampled, synthesized, lip-synced, or auto-tuned.

All these realizations can make one feel old, and it can make one feel somewhat jaded and cynical when it comes to embracing new technologies. But in a sense I am optimistic. Almost every technological breakthrough I listed seemed -- at the time -- like the pinnacle of what we could achieve. And yet the bar has been raised higher time and time again. It seems like every failure (the Lisa, the Newton, the Cube -- all from Apple) paved the way for something greater (the Macintosh, the iPad, the iMac -- all from Apple).

I actually like it that what was state-of-the-art when I was a kid is now quaint if not old fashioned. What has me concerned, however, is that some of the technology has been stagnant. The space shuttle program that evolved in the 1970s never quite got updated, and this year it will shut down forever. The large hadron collider -- designed in an era when the technology required to operate it hadn't even been invented yet -- will shut down this year, too. There has been no manned mission to Mars. There have been no flying cars. Disneyland's Monorail never quite proved viable outside the confines of the Happiest Place on Earth.

If these stalled technologies really are just steps to something better, we appear to have found ourselves immobilized. I've become convinced that mankind no longer evolves physically (whether we once did is another debate for another day). Instead, mankind grows technologically. If we are to better ourselves, we have to keep developing new gadgets to make our lives better. If we don't, then we risk becoming obsolete as a species, and we'll have to make room for something else to take our place.

The USA has online tech support

My multiple calls to the Kazakh Embassy have been fruitless. Yesterday I was told to call back today. This morning, I was told to call back in an hour (when, according to the embassy website, the consular office would be closed). When I called back an hour later, I was told to call back in another four hours. Asking for a specific voicemail box doesn't work because the voicemail boxes are all full. In short, my passport (and possibly visa) are being held hostage in the Kazakh Embassy in Washington DC.


Undaunted (OK -- slightly daunted), I set about finding someone within my own government who could assist me. My first choice was the State Department, but their delightful automated call center had no option to press for "passports held hostage" and there was no option available to speak to a live operator. Same goes for the White House itself, and that is a shame because its switchboard used to be manned by friendly and courteous people. Back to the internet I went. Knowing that all government websites in the US end with the suffix .gov, I eventually found USA.gov, a website with the catchy slogan, "Government made easy." And, easy as could be, there was a link to chat online with a live person to get the sort of personal, individualized attention I wasn't getting from the automated numbers I was calling (to say nothing of the lack of attention -- if not misdirection -- I've been getting from the Kazakh Embassy).


One click and I was online with "Anthony O." Things did not go well:

Anthony O.: Hi, my name is Anthony O.. How may I help you?
Kevin : I need to know which I agency or department I can contact. I sent my passport to the Kazakhstan Embassy in DC on the 10th and applied for a work visa. Their website states it would take 3-5 business days to process. It has been 10 business days. When I call the embassy, I get the runaround (they tell me to call back later, or I get transferred to a voicemail box that is full).
Anthony O.: I can help locate some information on that subject for you. Please give me a few moments while I do some research.
Kevin : Thank you
Anthony O.: I suggest you contact the Embassy of Kazakhstan for information regarding the process necessary to file a complaint on them. Unfortunately, there is no United States government office that you can file a complaint with on a foreign government embassy in this country.
Kevin : But nobody in the embassy will take my calls!
Kevin : I do not wish to file a complaint. I wish someone to help me resolve the issue!
Anthony O.: You may also wish to contact your elected officials for possible additional assistance. I can provide you contact information for your elected officials as well, if your prefer.
Kevin : What about the state department? Isn't there someone in that agency to help in matters such as this?
Anthony O.: Unfortunately, no. There is no office in the U.S. to file a complaint with on a foreign government embassy.
Kevin : I DO NOT wish to file a complaint. I wish to resolve the issue. Are you telling me there is nobody in the government who can direct questions to someone in another government's embassy?
Anthony O.: That is correct.
Kevin : Wow. I didn't believe the United States government could be thwarted by an embassy on their own soil.
Anthony O.: I hope you find this information helpful. Do you have any other questions?
Kevin : You provided no information. You provided no help.
Kevin : My government genuinely has no interest/concern that a foreign agency has a United States passport in their possession and that agency refuses to speak to or respond to the owner of the passport?
Anthony O.: You may wish to contact your elected officials, or a licensed attorney for possible additional assistance. Would you like some contact information for either?
Kevin : So the answer to my previous question is "no"?
Anthony O.: This is the only suggestion that we can provide for possible additional assistance in this matter.
Kevin : Answer my question please: My government genuinely has no interest/concern that a foreign agency has a United States passport in their possession and that agency refuses to speak to or respond to the owner of the passport?
Anthony O.: If you are seeking an official statement in regards to your inquiry, I suggest you contact your elected officials. Would you like their contact information?
Kevin : I am not seeking an official statement. I am seeking a direct answer to my question: My government genuinely has no interest/concern that a foreign agency has a United States passport in their possession and that agency refuses to speak to or respond to the owner of the passport?
Anthony O.: That is a question that we cannot provide a general answer for. I suggest you contact your elected officials for an answer to your inquiry.
Kevin : And you honestly believe my senator or congressman will be able to assist me with an embassy?
Anthony O.: I suggest you contact them to see if they can provide any assistance in this matter. Would you like contact information for your elected officials?
Kevin : Sure. I live in Southern California. I'd like the phone numbers and e-mail addresses of every one of my elected officials.
Anthony O.: The following House.gov web site provides contact information for U.S. Representatives.
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml
Additionally, the following Senate.gov web site provides contact information for U.S. Senators.
http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm
Kevin : So, you won't even give me that information directly -- you'll direct me to yet another website(s)?
Anthony O.: I suggest you utilize the web links that I have provided you for assistance in locating the requested contact information that you are seeking.
Kevin : How much money do you make an hour? Or is it a salary position? I assume you have health care.
Anthony O.: Sorry, I cannot disclose any personal information.
Kevin : Apparently, you cannot disclose any information at all, personal or otherwise.
Anthony O.: Do you have any other government related questions that I can assist you with?
Kevin : Here... how about an easy one before I go: What is 2 + 2?
Anthony O.: I would be happy to assist you with a legitimate government inquiry. If you don’t have such a question, I will disconnect this chat session.
Kevin : Yeah, I guess that was too tough for you. You should know that, as is always the case with my government, you as its online representative have been no help at all.
Anthony O.: Since you do not have a government related inquiry that I can help you with, I will need to disconnect this chat session so I may assist other citizens with their inquiries. Have a great day. Goodbye.
Anthony O. has disconnected.

Government made easy. 

From Guinness to Vitamin Water Zero

Guinness 1: At this stage, my first reaction is not sadness for myself, but sadness for the morons who fail to grasp the basic concept. For them, I feel genuine pity. They are the lowest of the low, and they don't even realize it.

Guinness 2: Called my mom and one of my brothers. My brother farted into the phone a few times which made me smile. I guess my second reaction is that I cannot believe the way in which this was handled. No tact. It was all done behind my back, and they smiled at me the whole time as if we were friends. To twist the classic line: No friends here, just strangers I've met.

Guinnes 3: Texting a few people and sending a few private e-mails. My third reaction is that, if I were in charge of something and I saw a way in which someone under me could do something better or at least differently, I would have the stones to speak my mind. Some people are just stoneless, I guess.

Guinness 4: Didn't spell Guinness correctly earlier. Funny. My fourth reaction is I have spent the last several years trying to serve something greater than myself. Four years of teaching. My time in the Peace Corps. I even considered working in the DA's office a form of service (the PD had no openings at the time). Through it all, I wanted to serve something greater than myself, and each time I hit a roadblock.

Guinness 5: I wonder where the grace is in intolerance. I wonder where the grace is in prejudice. I wonder where the grace is in not giving someone the opportunity to prove his or her worth. I wonder where the grace is in forcing faith. I wonder where the grace is in condemnation.

Guinness 6: Grooving to blues. BB King and Eric Clapton have mad skills. This whole thing went down badly. Back in November I asked direct questions and was lied to. Had I been told the truth, things might be different today. I asked the question directly months ago -- the question that strikes at the heart of this. And I was reassured that it wasn't about me. Once again, people feel the need to pussyfoot around.

Guinness 7: I'm far from perfect. Say I'm too abrasive or recalcitrant. Say I can't relate to certain people. All of these are fair criticisms. But I've thought hard about this and they just are not right about this. It took me years to be able to justify my faith to myself and to others. On this singular point, I feel I'm on solid ground. I should get bonus points for correctly typing "recalcitrant" after 7 beers.

Guinness 8: After eight beers, I'm reduced to laughter. You know that old chestnut when someone breaks up with someone else and he/she says, "It's not you, it's me"? Well, to-whom-it-may-concern: It's not me, it's you. My culpability comes in the form of sitting in silence while you have messed things up, and, ironically, I sat in silence out of fear of the repercussions should I speak out.

Vitamin Water Zero: Just reread last night's running/drinking commentary. I stand by it. And I'll be fine, by the way. It was probably time for a change anyway, and now I am more motivated than ever to make that change happen.

A Born Loser